Hope is a woman, and she's gorgeous!

Why is life full of so many ups and downs?

I have written about my hopes and dreams in a few of my previous blogs and different emotions have been attached to each one.

There are always the high points, such as when I see a makeup ad I fall in love with, or a fashion spread in a magazine that is unique and refreshing. When I see these amazing images my modeling engine is kicked into high gear and I feel more confident then ever.

Then there are the low points when I realize that I am not yet where I want to be in my modeling career...

Just as I grab a spoon and begin to dig into that pint of "Chubby Hubby" that has been sitting in my freezer I see an article on Barbie. Yes, the doll we all grew up.

This article is featured in the November issue of O Magazine. I can explain what the article is about, but this image is stronger than any words I can type: 

The dotted lines resemble what a surgeon would have to do to this woman's body to make her look like a real-life Barbie doll.

I knew the measurements of Barbie were unrealistic, but I did not know it was this drastic. 

I continued to read the article and it began to talk about the model in the picture, Katie Halchishick. This young woman has been through the same struggles I have. She had struggled to find modeling work because she was not the standard sample size (00 to 2) and not plus-size (12+). 

Katie has started her own modeling agency called Natural Model Management and, of course, I submitted some of my pictures and crossed my fingers in hopes that I was what they were looking for.

The very next day I got one of the nicest emails I have ever received in my entire life...

I embody their message!

I could not be happier! 

Earlier today, I spoke with Katie on the phone about getting me started. We talked all about the agency and its project "Healthy is the New Skinny" (http://healthyisthenewskinny.com/) where models will travel around to different schools spreading a positive message about body image.

Their goal, well now OUR goal, is to show young girls that being healthy is important. Beauty does not have a weight requirement!

I know that I have struggled with my body image for many years and I am more honored than I can express that I can be a part of something this special. 

This is something that will truly change the world..

Life is full of so many ups and downs because we need the low points in our lives to truly appreciate the high points...    :)

It's not over yet

Tattoos + modeling = NO WAY! / unheard of / not gonna happen!

That is the common belief and typical response I get when I am talking to someone about my aspirations to take my modeling to the next level.

I get it. I really do...to some extent. Modeling is an art. The model is a canvas and most canvases are blank...

However, tattoos are an art form as well. They are a mean of expression and while some people choose to express some not-so-savory feelings on their bodies, some tattoos are truly meaningful.

For too long modeling gigs for women with tattoos were sparse. Sure tattoo magazines would give you a spot in their magazine, but you had to have "enough" tattoos. You couldn't be on the cover of a magazine featuring people with sleeves and full chest pieces when all you have is that butterfly on your ankle you and your BFF got to match and that script of your favorite quote.

What is out there for the tattooed model?


In fashion, one of the most important things to do is to keep things from clashing. Some people feel that tattoos clash with an image and prefer to use models that do not have any tattoos. This is why many people feel discouraged when wanting to pursue modeling if they have some ink.



In a time when Photoshop is so popular I don't see how covering up a tattoo could be so hard, but apparently to some it is too much extra work. I have worked with a variety of different independent photographers and some love my tattoos, while others just cover up whatever little piece shows.

I am gathering the courage to see what a large agency has to say about my tattoos, but that's for another time...

I lose hope on occasion, but then something happens to pick me right back up.

This season of "America's Next Top Model" features the show's all-stars. These are women who competed in previous seasons, but did not win. While watching one of the episodes, I noticed that almost all of women had tattoos! Not hidden ones or ones that could easily be concealed either! (and no, the tattoos were not the reason why they didn't win!)

Now I do know that this does not mean that the entire fashion industry has changed and that all photographers and designers will work with women that have tattoos, but it is a start..

Soon after I saw this episode, I noticed tattooed models more often. This particular one was the much needed jumper cable to my dead battery of hope and dreams:

Those are tattoos on her arms! The "Maybelline: Fit Me" commercial featured this woman and another with a large tattoo of script running down her back. A national campaign! A makeup commercial!

In a world that is constantly changing, it makes sense that the views of those mystical creatures that make the rules of the fashion industry would change as well!


Tattoos + modeling = finally happening?

BMI, the ultimate confidence crusher

"Once you go big, you never go twig".

Caught off guard? Slightly amused? I know I was when I heard one of the women from the show "Big Sexy" say this about having "a good time" with a plus sized woman. To get an idea of what goes on in the show, watch the clip titled "Thunder Thighs Contest" by clicking the attached link. (Warning: this is not for the weak of stomach) If you want to see more of these "big sexy" women the show airs Tuesday nights on TLC. The time sometimes changes so check your local listings to make sure you don't miss a second!
 Thunder Thighs Contest

Most of the women on the show are plus sized models. On the last episode I watched, one of the women came close to losing her contract because she had gained a few inches around her waist. One very interesting point the show brought up was that plus size models still have to be within a weight bracket. This bracket is a lot higher and more lenient than the weight for a high fashion model, but the restrictions are still there.

The featured women are somewhat successful in the fashion industry due to the rise of plus size and "full-figured" stores. Terms such as "curvy" and "thick" and being used in all the wrong places and obese women are self-proclaimed "real women".

Plus size modeling is mostly catalog work consisting of catalog books for various clothing stores and advertisements in magazines. Most high fashion gigs for runway shows carry only the smallest size (usually zero). There is much debate about this as many people think it is the root of a lot of the negative pressure many models feel they are under. Many designers will say that small sizes are made because they use less fabric. For expensive designs using as little as possible is the most cost effective thing to do.


The root of my frustration comes not from plus sized models nor the rail thin runway models, but from the fact that there is a gray area of modeling that I, unfortunately, fall into.

Gray area you say? Yes. My BMI, or body mass index, is of the seemingly boring "normal" range. In terms of unimportant things such as my health or longevity this is great. However, in the modeling industry it is undesirable.

This is the dilemma of many people I know trying to get into the modeling industry. We are too big to fit the 0-2 size range for a high fashion/runway model, but we are too small to fit the 10+ size range for a plus sized model.

What to do, what to do....

Forget about that thing called food and try to drop down to the underweight range in the BMI scale...?

Or

Forget about everything else but food and gorge myself until I'm tipping the unhealthy, obese range...?

This chart depicts my current options:

If you are now wondering what your own BMI is after looking at this chart, I would suggest a Google search of "BMI calculator". There are so many different ones from different websites and although they all do the same thing (you simply enter your height and weight and get a number) I have found that there are some that I just don't like, as crazy as that may sound. These calculators have been known to shatter the self-esteem of even the most cocky of individuals so take a deep breath before you hit the calculate button and let the computer send out the mortal blow...